Apparently, Two Things Stop Me

I was going to follow up my When You’re In, You Win post the other day by telling you why I haven’t given my dearest friend a script that she likes and wants to pass along to a producer (hint: it has to do with perfectionism, and it’s dopey).  But that post is going to have to wait because I have realized there’s yet a more powerful circumstance stopping me from moving forward in all areas of my life:

I have too much on my plate.

Now, I could rail at the gods for a good long time, but let’s face it, I’m the one who heaps too much onto the to-do list.  I do the mom thing, the dutiful daughter, the freelance writer, the homemaker, the consultant.  One of my clients has a crisis?  I leap to the rescue.  Friends coming for dinner?  Must clean, file, shop, cook, and make it all look effortless.  Bonus points if I can set up a craft for the kids at the same time.  I am wearing my Superwoman T-shirt today, in the vain hope of convincing myself I can do it all.

In the play Caligula, there’s a wonderful line about how when everything matters, then nothing really matters at all.  I have a suspicion that perfectionism is at the bottom of my overload, which is crazy-making because the very fact that I don’t know what to drop means a bunch of stuff ends up being done half-assed.  I gladly open up the comments to anyone who has advice on triage.  I know this has to stop.  The centre cannot hold.  I was going to devote today to catching up on my to-do list, but what I really need to catch up on is sleep.

Am I alone in this?  Does anyone else suffer from overload?  Can I blame modern society or is it in fact all my fault?

Damn – as I write this, I am not kidding, the oatmeal is boiling over.  (Whew!  Caught it just in time.)

I’m gonna hit “publish.”  And then I’m going back to bed.



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